Neil Thompson’s Lesson for Living – Don’t criticise what you don’t understand

Many years ago I came across the idea that, the further away from something you are, the simpler it appears, and that idea has stuck with me. What it was referring to was the tendency for complex matters to seem quite simple and straightforward from a distance. If you don’t have a full grasp of a situation, it is very easy indeed to oversimplify and thereby rely on a distorted picture that can be very unhelpful in a number of ways (not least in creating unnecessary tension and ill-feeling).

Consider, for example, the case of domestic violence. So often I have heard people say words to the effect of: ‘If he is hitting her, why does she stay there? Why doesn’t she leave him?’. Ah, if only life were that simple! Such situations are usually hugely complex, with all sorts of dilemmas and difficult decisions to make. Simplistic attitudes and a judgemental approach to something they don’t understand will often mean that people are being unsupportive of others precisely at a time when most support is needed.

This can lead to a vicious circle in which people who feel bitter, disappointed, angry and/or hurt by a lack of support and what they, quite understandably, see as a negative and unsympathetic attitude, they may then struggle to be supportive of others (note that I say ‘may’ – it is by no means certain that they will not be supportive, but it can and does happen). They are certainly likely to find it more difficult to be positive and supportive of others in such circumstances …

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